How many of us have got through life purely because we had a pet, a familiar by our side?
I never really considered my pets to be gifts from Her and then there was Goku. Goku is my rescue cat. As the saying goes, he rescued me….
It was a dark time in my life when my gift arrived.
My dad had died and my familiar, my cat Satoshi had also died. I was in an abusive relationship. I had financial troubles as I was too sick to work full-time and was being drained by my relationship.
I had begun a path with the Goddess central to my life. I had awakened and was having guidance and shifts that came through Her. I suppose I was beginning my life of service to Her but didn’t know it at the time.
Less than one week out of hospital, having had a breakdown, I was gifted a semi-feral kitten named Goku. The name comes from an anime where Goku is earths fiercest warrior and he certainly lived up to his name. I have the scars to prove it.
As soon as this tiny five-week-old kitten was passed to me to care for, he said to me telepathically “Hello, I’m here to teach you about death.” Death. Not my favourite subject to be ‘taught’.
That night, Goku was unwell, and needed vet care. At the emergency vets, the vet told us “He might die.” The words still ring through me five years later because for the entirety of his life, he has been at the edge of death with an incurable virus that requires close monitoring and if left unchecked can be fatal.
Indeed, for two years, it was nearly fatal. He spent his time in and out of specialist vets who all agreed they had never seen anything so severe. Every day was a conscious decision whether to carry on or put him to sleep.
These are not decisions you can take lightly. You know you are the custodian. You know you are borrowing them from Her. You know you must honour their choice, no matter how devastating that might be to you.
Still, he chose life, and I chose him. I loved him more than I’ve ever loved any pet.
The cleverness of this. I could see how She had made him into exactly the kind of cat I would fall for. Exactly the kind of cat, I would fight for. Exactly the kind of cat, I would live for. I devoted my life to keeping his life going.
Oh, She planned it alright. She planned that I would break my heart open time again for him.
Eventually I fled my old life and took him with me. She knew I would save him before I saved myself, so She brought him to me with the mission to do just that.
We left together, once again, close to death. It was the start of the pandemic, and we didn’t know how we would survive.
Slowly, he got better and just as we always dance together – I got sick. I had the worst breakdown I’ve ever had. Now, I was the one close to death and he was the one fighting to keep me alive.
We clung to each other. He began his work as my therapy cat. He was bossy and demanding. I was exhausted and traumatised. He was insistent that I get up, get washed and dressed, eat, drink and that I move to play with him.
He gave me a reason and he was such a high intensity cat, that he was able to organise the household and hold me through all the trials that came my way.
Coming out of the deep fog of trauma, I looked at the beauty of him. She had made him exquisitely. The precision of Her brushstrokes to create such a creature with black smoke, charcoal streaks and soft white fine fur that blew in the wind like feathers on angel’s wings.
His slow blinking green eyes staring up at me, I marvelled at how She comes up with these things. He fit my arms perfectly despite being a huge cat. His neck slotted into the creek of my elbow neatly. His paws are just the right length to wrap around my neck and his face the exact placement to give me kisses on my cheek. The wonder of the accuracy of it all, hit me.
“You are the most beautiful cat in the world.” I’d tell him. “I love you so much. You are my best baby boy cat.” Love would pour out of me. Having lived a life of abuse, it was the first time my love could run free, and I would gush over him.
He healed me. I healed him. We were a team. My most favourite team ever.
Only Goddess could have known the recipe for this. Only She who knows all, sees all and is all, could bring this deep soul bond into being with such ease.
As I write this, Goku is on the path to death. I’m bracing myself for his return to Her. I find myself pleading for him to stay with me, but I know I only ever borrowed him. He belongs to Her, not me.
My lesson in death is just beginning as his life is ending – that dance again. What a gift.
She, the creator of all things, gave me the greatest gift of all. And I am so thankful for that.