In 1999 I submitted my PhD thesis exploring mindbody birth control. In the tradition of ancient women’s mysteries, mindbody birth control is a way women can manage fertility through a process of internal regulation, without using drugs, synthetic hormones, or physical devices, and without abstaining at any time during the fertility cycle. This method involves an internal mindbody process that allows women to choose whether or not to conceive, regardless of the time in the menstrual cycle, unprotected sex, or any other factors that are “normally” considered to affect reproduction. The result is true reproductive autonomy, a reclaiming of deep inner wisdom and power. It is a practical experience of what can happen when ancient mysteries of Goddess are rediscovered by modern women.
Mindbody birth control is a simple practice, but very few women spontaneously develop it, and most women doubt that they can successfully use it. This is one example of the profound and lasting damage done to the creativity and autonomy of women over the last five or six millennia. The destruction of women’s wisdom and mysteries means that it takes strenuous effort and much courage for a woman today to find her way to the inner ground of true wisdom, strength, and choice. For many women, it is easier to disbelieve or ignore the possibility of a practice like mindbody birth control (and other creative life choices) than to confront the legacy of terrible, aching loss and terror that is the result of millennia of violent disenfranchisement.
As my PhD research developed, I became fearful of exploring and revealing this material. Even though I knew rationally that there was no current tangible threat of persecution, there was still a deep fear about exploring a practice that had, in all probability, been the cause of persecution at other times in history. To propose a method of birth control that offers women true reproductive autonomy is radical, and some of the accompanying ideas are subversive of current consensus reality, but my fearful response was irrational and out of place in the current time. It did, however, make me more aware of the impact of cultural-historical conditioning.
Anxiety often accompanies an exploration that deviates markedly from current consensus reality. The drastic and usually fatal treatment of anyone who deviated from the collective rules at various times and places has left a legacy of collective paranoia that is alleviated by conforming to consensus reality. It is easier to stay quiet, conform to the rules, and not take risks. It is easier to stay with our illusions, even when we are dissatisfied and depressed, even when we know better. So much has been lost.
In my life, the context for transformation has been my experience of Goddess. This has demanded a change in the way I perceive reality. Archaic, magical, and mythical images and voices of Goddess and women have formed the core of this process. These figures in my dreams and active imagination insisted that I engage this task as a personal exploration, telling my soul story as one part of the reemergence of Goddess.
My experiences have convinced me that Goddess is a force that is alive and well even after thousands of years of banishment, a force that informs our exploration of women’s mysteries and, at times, demands that we do so. The dramatic imagery in some of my dreams reminds me that this is serious business. The discontinuity of oral traditions leaves us ungrounded and uncertain. This loss of women’s ways of being threatens our existence as a species, from the basic principle of mother right to the respect for Nature and the reverence for life in general.
Reclaiming women’s ways of being is more difficult than it would first appear. There are collective forces that would keep us from the embrace of Great Mother, Goddess in her many forms. To be born a woman today means that you are a daughter in an unbroken line of mothers and daughters back to the beginning of time. To reclaim even a part of the wisdom of this heritage, to remember the true life-giving power of Goddess, challenges thousands of years of conditioning that wanted us to forget.
Do you remember?
Meet Mago Contributor Kaalii Cargill