Life shouldn’t be a drudgery. Yes, patriarchy sucks, and there are a million ways it screws us over—but there is so much more to life!
Enjoy every single thing you can. Celebrate even the smallest accomplishments! Eat cake! Take a long, leisurely walk! Make love! Sing your favorite song as loud as you want to! Belly-laugh! Pick a bouquet of flowers! Savor a long bath! Sue Patton Thoelle wrote: “We are daughters of life’s generosity, constantly surrounded by the altruism of Mother Earth and the myriad blessings present in work and relationships. It is our birthright to joyously claim this bountiful inheritance.”67
I believe the feeling of scarcity enforced on females robs us of more than just what it would seem on the surface. Joy seems almost gluttonous when you are a grown woman—especially if you have children.
I try to celebrate at least one thing every day. On the days that I just can’t, I indulge myself by reading as much as I want or watching a funny show. We must begin to remember old ways of being, even if just by reading inspirational books. Robin Wall Kimmerer wrote this glorious passage:
“The depths of the Feminine, languorous in the sun, embraced by beautiful connective tissue that is this moss: I want to stand by the river in my finest dress. I want to sing, strong and hard, and stomp my feet with a hundred others so that the waters hum with our happiness. I want to dance for the renewal of the world.”68
There is something really deep in what she said. Did you catch it?
“I want to dance for the renewal of the world.”
There is something about women dancing—really dancing, for themselves—that diminishes patriarchy. Same goes for laughing. My sister and I used to go into hysterics at the dinner table and it would drive my father insane. We literally could not contain ourselves, despite his best efforts to make us stop and be proper.
Mary Daly touched on this in Gyn/Ecology:
“There is nothing like the sound of women really laughing! The roaring laughter of women is like the roaring of the eternal sea. Hags can cackle and roar at themselves, but more and more, one hears them roaring at the reversal that is patriarchy… this laughter is the one true hope, for as long as it is audible, there is evidence that someone is seeing through the Dirty Joke.”69
When was the last time you had a good belly-laugh? When is the last time you danced your heart out? Don’t discount joy—it is our birthright after all! Terry Tempest Williams reminds us, “Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated.”70
(To be continued)
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(Meet Mago Contributor) Trista Hendren.
I absolutely love the word “hag”! It empowers me even more than the word “crone.” A hag is someone who doesn’t always have to be so wise. She can be just downright disrespectful and decadent!