Written March/April 1994, Blue Mountains, Australia – Darug/Gundungurra Country
I sat outside in the backyard and turned my attention to a tree there.
As I went into it, contemplated its being
I began to cry.
Was it that it had been there so long,
throughout the history of the house, even longer? It stood outside of it all,
yet knew it all?
I didn’t know … I had no thoughts at this stage, but I cried.
Was it like a child bringing its wounded self to its mother?
Is it grief for my wounded mother?
(Joanna Macy believes we have more grief and despair over our wounded mother than we are usually conscious of)
I went and put my back against the tree and I remembered aspects of myself that I had not really seen before.
She (the tree) told me things about myself and my unique journey – I saw pictures of myself at seminary and other places.
She told me things in images of who I am and what I have to give.
NOTES:
This experience with Her was done and written down in the context of Re-storying Goddess sessions I was facilitating at the time, and would continue to do so for many years to come. I had recently experienced trauma and a shattering in that place over the short period I had lived there with family, which was now scattered.
The particular tree is no longer there and I moved some 3 decades later, but the photo included here is of the main tree, a peppermint gum, in that backyard – named later as “BigTree”, a Friend who inspired and oversaw much Creativity and ceremony take root and nurture many; who is still there, and no doubt has more to say.